It is said that money can’t buy love, but when couples do not agree about how money is managed it can create problems in a relationship. So how do you discuss finances with the important people in your life without damaging your relationship? The tips below can help you learn how to discuss money.
$ Choose words carefully. Avoid words that may be misunderstood.
$ Check your timing. Don’t discuss an issue when both are tired or involved in a favorite television program, not feeling well, or under pressure with an important work assignment.
$ Watch your attitude
$ All decisions about how money is spent should be a joint decision.
$ Stick to the issue. Avoid dragging other points into the discussion.
$ Encourage communication by beginning with “I think” or “I feel.” Avoid “you always” and “you never.”
$ Be willing to negotiate for a realistic settlement of differences. Both should be ready to offer a solution.
$ Give each other clues when the tension is letting up, such a smile or gentle touch.
RECOGNIZING VALUES
One place to start communicating about money is by identifying personal values.
Values represent qualities, situations, and material things you cherish most
Values are a product of your experiences, present situation and expectations for the future.
Values guide decisions. How you use your time and how you spend your money reflect your values.
When spouses have different values and attitudes toward spending and saving money, conflict may result. Remember talking is the best answer, not arguing.